At last, Rochdale Observer Conjures-up Cojones

But no 'Kiss on the Bum' for Northern Voices!

FINALLY the Rochdale Observer has conjured up the courage to publish the original article from the Rochdale Alternative Paper (RAP) of May 1979; RAP was the journal that first exposed Cyril Smith's crazy conduct of fake medicals, and obcene abuse of power at Cambridge House Hostel for lads in Rochdale. 

Most people will now believe the current editor of the Ob. has been shamed into this by the recent book published by the local Rochdale MP Simon Danczuk, which has cause something of a stir in recent weeks.  And yet, close examination of the rather badly written and uneven but spicy tale told by Mr Danczuk and his assistant Matthew Baker, suggests that there is little that is new in the documentation or the ethnographic accounts in the book. 

Mr Danczuk, in a rather scornful tone of voice told Northern Voices on the night of the launch of his book at Danczuk's Deli, that 'RAP only tackled the issue of the problems of the lads at Cambridge House'.  It is true that the Rochdale Alternative Paper in its May issue in 1979 only examined the cases of several lads at Cambridge House Hostel, but Cyril Smith was alive then and the RAP editors risked everything - their jobs, homes, livelihoods - in publishing the story in May 1979. 

Today with Cyril Smith long dead, Simon Danczuk and Matthew Baker as late-comers to the story, risk little or nothing in publishing their account which bears all the signs of a rush job to seize the political momentum and in so doing to profit by it.  They mention in the book that the original idea of a biography came from John Walker at the end of 2012.  They do not say that the original idea of Mr Danczuk including Cyril Smith's crimes in his speech in November 1912, also came from this source.  Nor do they admit that they had a full cookbook chronology of Cyril's crimes that came from John Walker and was circulated among several journalists and websites, including Northern Voices, before being made available through me to Simon Danczuk at an exhibition at Number TEN Gallery in Rochdale in June 2013.  That chronology was published in Northern Voices No.14 in June 2013.  Naturally Simon Danczuk, while he acknowledges that he got the idea for his book from John Walker, makes no mention of this schematic chronological cookbook that was provided as a kind of 'Cyril Smith for dummies' document. 

Naturally, unlike John Walker and David Bartlett, Northern Voices took no risks when we published John Walker's cookbook chronology in June 2013 in NV14, but we did through this blog and the the Westminister blogger Paul Waugh of the PoliticsHome website help to put this whole matter in the public domain by indirectly feeding information to Simon Danczuk and his colleague.  We didn't expect a 'kiss on the bum', but an acknowledgement from Simon Danczuk and the Rochdale Observer would have been nice.

Valerie Groves on John Mortimer: the Sleeping Juror & the Oz Trial

2 more vignettes from "A Voyage Around John Mortimer" by Valerie Grove:

1) The Sleeping Juror which was related by Richard Eyre in his published diary.

There was a sexual harassment case in which a woman witness was too shy to say what had been said to her. The Judge told her to write it down. She duly concurred with the words "Do you want a fuck?" The note was passed around the court and ended up with a dozing juryman who was sitting next to an attractive woman. The woman prodded the Juryman awake and gave him the note. He read it, looked at her, smiled and put the note in his pocket. The Judge asked for the note to be returned. "Merely a private matter my Lord" said the Juryman

2)The OZ trial. OZ #28 The School Kids issue 1971.

The 3 defendants were Richard Neville, Jim Anderson and Felix Dennis. George Melly, the renowned Anarchist and surrealist, was giving evidence. Judge Argyle a dyed-in-the-wool reactionary commented. "Well pardon me for those of us who did not have a classical education, what do you mean by the word 'cunnilinctus'?" (as if it were a cough medicine Geoffrey Robertson the libertarian QC later pointed out). Melly elucidated for him. "Sucking, blowing or going down or gobbling or, as we said in my naval days, 'Yodelling in the Canyon'." In 1997 the British entry in the  'Song for Europe' Contest was "Yodel in the Canyon of Love" (sic).

John Mortimer's biography

Valerie Grove wrote a fascinating biography of the "champagne socialist" and renowned libertarian John Mortimer which contained many revealing anecdotes. It was entitled "A Voyage Around John Mortimer"

One relates to the genesis of the TV series Rumpole of the Bailey created and written by Mortimer. There was an Old Bailey Trial in which Mortimer defended the Mile End Boot Boys - football hooligans - who killed an innocent bystander at Charing Cross Station. He was assisted by James Burge QC (defender of Stephen Ward of the Profumo affair). Burge told Mortimer at the start of the trial "As a matter of fact I am an anarchist. But I dont think even my old darling Prince Peter Kropotkin would have approved of this lot." "There I had Rumpole" Mortimer thought. The original title suggested by John Mortimer was "My Darling Prince Peter Kroptkin", but this was vetoed.

The second anecdote concerns Lord "Boofy" Arran and may not be strictly PC. Arran introduce 2 bills in the House of Lords, one to reduce the age of homosexual consent to 18 and the other for the preservation of badgers. "I cant understand it" said Boofy as he lay dying, "Hardly anyone showed up for the badgers Bill. When we passed the buggers bill the place was packed". "Have you considered" he was asked, "there are very few badgers in the House of Lords".