Mr. Dale's Diary

Tuesday 9th August 2016

Diary entry sent to Northern Voices: 

  This is the diary of a man of our times. Any resemblance to anyone living is, of course, purely coincidental.

 Being in such demand for my good works from serfs and all, it places great stresses on one. Others would collapse under the strain and attention. Poor me just has to bat through it all – for a fee of course. I need support and lots of public sympathy, so after some research, the best help will come from a date.

With Kylie.

Let me explain. Jeremy Kylie and Grey Stainer or some one or other do this TV show where the lesser strata get lots of psychological support in exchange for bearing their souls on TV. Best of all I’m told it’s all expenses paid! With ME they’d get a man of fame. calibre and esteem, which will increase their audience by millions (so there are opportunities for a bonus for me as well!). The adoring presenters and viewers would give ME all the sympathy and therapy poor me needs, and maybe a young research assistant to go. It’s a winner for everybody.

I’ve also decided to go into advertising. This pays a most tidy sum. Top manufacturers will flock to my door for my product endorsement. Here are two famous names who are signed up already…

I hear of lots of exes bitch fighting over ME – excellent work girls. Gets ME more attention. Spanking good fun!! I need a holiday after all this. Off to park the car (on expenses) and fly (first class of course) away to relax in the gaff. Day job? What day job! So long serfs!