EXTRACTS from a diary that have been sent to Northern Voices.
This is the diary of a man of our times.
Any resemblance to anyone living is, of course, purely coincidental.
Any resemblance to anyone living is, of course, purely coincidental.
Thursday 24th March 2016
I have decided how best to use my magnificence of mind and body for the benefit of others. I shall run a long distance race. Me partaking in such an event will be a fine way to earn money for the less fortunate. Then again, compared to ME, everyone is unfortunate!
There will of course be the need to fund my first class travel, masseuse (or two), 5 star hotel and sundry costs but my expenses will assist. My photographers will be strategically placed en route to take pictures of me for my admiring populace to see in the papers, attracting my usual percentage of course. Best of all, this is one photo opportunity the big man won’t be able to usurp – he wouldn’t manage ten yards!
The charity I have chosen is Children Against Sexting Harassment. Don’t you feel appalled by those old ne’er do well’s who get their kicks sending lewd messages to fragile young ladies? I know I am. In order to help this most worthy of causes, please send your cheques, for as much as you can afford, or more, made payable to C A S H (or to Mr Dale) to my HQ.
Please remember my cause…
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