Monday, 14 March 2016

Mr. Dale's Diary

EXTRACTS from a diary that have been sent to Northern Voices
This is the diary of a man of our times. 
Any resemblance to anyone living is, of course, purely coincidental.

Monday 14th March 2016

My ex has been on to me, ME, asking why I did not pass on her invite to the wedding of the boss of that marvellous paper (they do pay well!) to some American woman. She thinks that she must have had an invite as she is now such a well known celeb. I must say that I should have been the first to be invited, an important and super talented writer such as MYSELF. It would have given me a chance to ask why I have not been asked to contribute of late. My man has been on standby for weeks! I could have flogged my forthcoming publication. Advance payment in anticipation of this worldwide best seller would be most welcome. It would bring a smile to my face, not much else is at the moment!

Even the big man seems to be getting more publicity at the moment. I hope he is not after my job; he’s got history in that area. Both he and Ginge do not seem to be giving me their undivided attention and appropriate worship at present.They can be quite devious at times, not like ME. I am beginning to think I need a business opportunity, but what? I have magnificent business skills. My business experience is, shall we say, unique. Can I profit from my mighty appetites? Unlikely, but I may be able to use being ME. Let me think; where is that man of mine when I need him to come up with ideas? The phone is ringing, I wonder who it can be? Best get one of my serfs to answer it just in case it is someone I do not wish to speak with.


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