Tuesday, 15 March 2016

Mr. Dale's Diary

EXTRACTS from a diary that have been sent to Northern Voices
This is the diary of a man of our times. 
Any resemblance to anyone living is, of course, purely coincidental.

Tuesday March 15th 2016

A good weekend, found a new young filly to take to the ball, and she shares my views. Did the job, got me a bit of publicity! Had a good feed, and drink – all free, as of course it should be for ME. I should have received my usual fee just for attending but let that go on this occasion. Some people who were there might be useful in the future.

I see the big man has been parking himself into the attention of my people. Having read about it, this is disgraceful behaviour, on two counts! Firstly, it takes attention away from ME, the most important man on the manor. Secondly, parking yourself into public attention and upsetting the losers is MY idea, which he’s shamelessly stolen from ME (see here). For this, a suitable charge must be levied. Hmmm. I might need about £28,000 ish soon, so that, plus my time and trouble and some profit on top, payable in cash to keep it off the books, should be a tidy sum. My man, come here and draw up the invoice. What a fine businessman I am!
Yesterday’s phone call was someone doing a survey so I told them what my views are; but they were very rude ringing off when I asked for my usual fee for espousing my thoughts.

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