Monday, 8 February 2016

Mr. Dale's Diary

EXTRACTS from a diary that have been sent to Northern Voices
This is the diary of a man of our times. 
Any resemblance to anyone living is, of course, purely coincidental.

Monday 8th February 2016

What’s all this stuff about Europe? Lot of waffle but no one is answering the real question – what’s in it for me? The jobs in Europe seem well paid and the expenses are to die for! Free Eurostar and parking fees on top! Yes, a highly esteemed person like my good self would seem to be a perfect fit, I’ve even got a place over there. I’ll get my man to explain things to me. Or maybe a well deserved place in the House of Lords – £300 a day for turning up, sleep on the job, expenses, subsidised food and drink plus more funded visits for the progeny. Sounds perfect, as does the title Lord Me.
I’m not getting much company at present, certainly nothing like when I had the old business. I did enjoy the recruitment process, young ladies are so grateful for an introduction to the world of work although a recent one has been a little awkward.
This lack of attention as recommended by my menials is most unpleasant. My finances are beginning to suffer, and no ones printed my thoughts (as written by my man of course!) in over a week. Even the soppy paper who won’t pay me. Still they accept everything I say because I am a man of the people. Speak in a Northern accent and they think everything you say is what everybody thinks. You can tell them any old b*****is and they believe it! Just a pity they won’t pay me!

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