Monday, 22 February 2016

Mr. Dale's Diary

EXTRACTS from a diary that have been sent to Northern Voices
This is the diary of a man of our times. 
Any resemblance to anyone living is, of course, purely coincidental.

Monday 22nd February 2016

This is getting beyond a joke. The publicity my ex is getting is ridiculous. What is wrong with the papers? I am the important One. ME. She (they, even) are getting so much exposure, in more ways than one, that I am in danger of being forgotten about. Yes, I got a wee bit of TV but the cameras were more interested in an issue than me which is clearly the wrong way round. And what she’s written, talk about memory (is that spelt right) loss and confusion. What about ME. I know I have been told to keep my head down but it’s so low it’s beneath my nether regions, not that these are getting much action! Must get my man to earn his corn and get ME some publicity, soon, NOW!
Need to concoct a view on this Euro wotsit that he can write about and get me noticed. My important views matter you know. Of course you do. Which side of the fence will be best for me? In, and my current admirers will love me, Out and I can find new admirers. I’ll decide what’s best for me, which of course is what will be best for all.
I am still doing my good works, saying the right things that will please the punters. Not quite sure what I’m saying as my man sees to that. Still thinking about a holiday. After all that lovely excitement at Christmas and New Year, life seems a bit flat these days. All these investigations seem to be nothing but hot air, which of course they are as I am perfect, but I’ve not had the expected photo calls and earning potential they should reap. It’s like being the invisible man.

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