Friday, 19 February 2016

Mr. Dale's Diary

EXTRACTS from a diary that have been sent to Northern Voices
This is the diary of a man of our times. 
Any resemblance to anyone living is, of course, purely coincidental.

Friday 19th February 2016

Looking after ones children, well a couple of them, has got me thinking, not about money this time, but the unfairness of life. Can be awkward if the kids are around, can’t watch my films! It also distracts from gaining publicity. My public must be worried about me being so quiet these past few days. There have been mumblings amongst the great unwashed about me having time off work. Disgraceful, someone as important as ME should not be subject to checks on when I’m at work. But teachers, how come they get so many holidays? They are public servants after all, and when they are at school they only work a couple of hours. Money for old rope. Time for school governors to get a grip! Maybe I should be a school governor, I’d sort them out.
Been thinking about my holidays. It is weeks since I had a holiday. I fancy a trip to some exotic destination, first class of course, must get my man to see if there are any decent freebies going at work. Local freebies are all well and good for free food and drinks but someone as significant as ME should get better. A proper holiday is what I deserve, tropical island, waited on hand and foot and other places. Heard that one of my numerous ex’s has a freemans lined up to a tropical island, must be my turn next.
Just had a thought (doesn’t often happen unless it’s about money or young ladies), I might start calling my man Smithers, but not to his face of course, he might have a hissy fit and bugger off again! Never mind, menials are ten a penny and my recruitment methods are legendary. Nobody is irreplaceable, except me.

No comments: