Tuesday, 16 February 2016

Mr. Dale's Diary

EXTRACTS from a diary that have been sent to Northern Voices
This is the diary of a man of our times. 
Any resemblance to anyone living is, of course, purely coincidental.

Tuesday 16th February 2016

I seem to be getting a lot of stick lately. WHY ME? How insulting. ME. What have I done to deserve it?
They call me seedy and sleazy and greedy but why? I am a normal man with normal needs. Alright I am the best example of a man, superior to all others and not to be shackled by petty restraints.
So I have had money difficulties, who hasn’t! So has that American, Pump or Trump, the one with the dead ferret on his head. He has literally gone bust thousands of times. And some of the company debts were only owed to the tax man! I’m earning a-plenty now (if not enough, is there ever enough?), and people moan! Jealousy.
So I watch porn and partake of enhancing substances, everyone does, and have bits on the side. Men have needs, and such a magnificent specimen as ME has greater needs than lesser beings. But I am also a kind and caring parent, always willing to find space in my schedule to lend a hand. Super Dad if you will. People should give me a bit of slack in more ways than one. Should the need arise, I am sure my man will step in should An Important Person as myself be required elsewhere. He does so remind me of that chap who looks after that Monty Burns character.
Enough of me (I don’t say that very often!) I need to get back to making money at the same time as making turkey dinosaurs and smiley faces. Only man of my calibre can do that.
turkey dinosaurs

No comments: