Wednesday, 20 July 2016

Mr. Dale's Diary

EXTRACTS from a diary that have been sent to Northern Voices.  This is the tenth extract.
This is the diary of a man of our times. 
Any resemblance to anyone living is, of course, purely coincidental.

Wednesday 20th July 2016

The management seem to be falling out with each other. Gives me chance to get away with all sorts of things. They appear to be ignoring my little problems. Not problems for ME of course, just for them. This I like.
Same old problems for me, not enough pounds coming in for my ‘hobbies’, too much going to ex’s needs. The media are not coming knocking at my door, I need something to attract them. Nasty people threatening me, maybe my man will lob a brick through the office window, or ‘horrible’ comments on social media. I’m sure my man will be happy to oblige!
As a significant part of my income is from expenses, quite right too as I should not have to pay anything out of my own pocket, I have got my man looking at fresh claims. If I claim for the services of others no payment actually needs to be made, depending of course who is providing the service. A man like ME needs to be in the best of health, physical and emotional to provide wise counsel, mop up tears etc etc. I need a counsellor to look after my emotional needs, who can that be? A young lady perhaps, someone I can come to agreement on regarding payment?
Product placement could be another option. I could wear designer clothes supplied free in return for me displaying them, maybe swimwear, nice and snug! I could ensure the media takes pictures as well (and charge them also). Now what other products and services could I endorse? Urm, now let me think. Now where is my man to get on with this? All this thought is making me thirsty, now endorsing drinks, that’s a interesting thought

No comments: