Thursday, 15 September 2016

Anarcha-feminism & all things exotic


In contrast to the ideas of Bailey Lamon on everyday struggles of poor folk today, Loughborough University is hosting a conference below on something more exotic:  'Anarcha-feminism & queer theory'.  Readers must judge on whether it might be better to save your money and to stop at home and listen to The Archers.

Loughborough University, U.K. – 14-16 September 2016


Central theme: Anarcha-feminism
Call for Papers and Sessions : 


The global resistance faces turbulent times, as the balance of hope teeters between inspiring mobilisation and reactionary retrenchment. In Rojava, Kurdish communities are implementing libertarian socialism and feminist leadership on a scale unseen since the Spanish civil war, while world powers bomb the democratic Syrian opposition alongside ISIS. The mobilisation of African Americans against police brutality goes beyond liberal platitudes to highlight systemic racism, while competitors for the Republican candidacy outdo one another in barefaced bigotry and misogyny. And while anarchists were encouraged by the resurgence of popular protest in the wake of the global financial crisis, much of that energy has been absorbed by electoral initiatives from Greece and Spain to the UK and US, vindicating longstanding concerns about the co-optation of movements who expect too much of the state. In these uncertain days, the elaboration of anarchist analysis which bridges theory and practice and speaks to the needs of social movements assumes increasing importance
The 4th International Conference of the Anarchist Studies Network will be held at Loughborough University between 14-16 September 2016. Proposals are welcome for individual papers, panels, and streams of several panels. We especially encourage panel proposals, to include 3-4 presentations drawn together around a common theme, although individual paper proposals are of course also welcome.
Contributions from both within and outside the official academic sphere are invited from any scholarly discipline(s), on any topic relevant to the study of anarchism.


The central theme for the conference is anarcha-feminism. The purposes are twofold: to stimulate discussion of a form of oppression that anarchists oppose but which continues to be felt in anarchist organising; and to welcome individuals, groups and communities who have not previously participated in ASN events. By recognising the legacy of anarcha-feminists/anarchist feminism and women's activism in anarchism we want to strengthen the ties between contemporary anarchists and feminists in the struggle against oppression and use the recognition of misogynist practices and hierarchical gender structures to open up the event to other marginalised peoples. We therefore particularly encourage submissions from women, trans and non-binary people, queer activists, collectives, people of colour, people with disabilities and we strongly encourage panel and panel stream organizers to overcome exclusion. We are also especially interested in presentations that are concerned with anarchism and one/more of the following:
· Anarcha-feminist and queer theory


· Anarcha-feminist critiques of the state
· Anarcha-feminist histories


· Ecofeminism, individualist anarcha-feminism, anarcho-primitivist feminism, posthuman, cyborg and sci-fi anarcho-feminism
· Feminist critiques of anarchism and anarchist engagement with feminism


· Intersections between gender, sexuality, race, class, abilities and anarchism
· Local anarcho-feminist struggles / experiences


· Love, sex, relationships (or resistance to)
· Masculine and feminine representations and the movement between them


· Sex work and reproductive rights
· The role of women and non-binary people in the struggle against capitalism


In addition, we welcome contributions on any other topic relevant to the study of anarchism, with or without connection to anarcha-feminism.
ASN conferences aim to breach new frontiers in anarchist scholarship, and encourage cross-pollination between disciplines. As well as submissions that bridge the gap between ‘academic’ and other forms of knowledge, we also welcome proposals for workshops, art events/performances and experimental pieces and are happy to discuss ideas that you might have.


Please send abstracts of up to 250 words per paper (multiply for panel/stream proposals) to ASN Co-convenor Uri Gordon at  u.gordon@lboro.ac.uk by 14 March 2016
Anarchist Studies Network:  http://anarchist-studies-network.org.uk/

Inquiry into police clash with miners


THE Government is about to announce an inquiry into police conduct at the so-called Battle of Orgreave in 1984, it has been reported.
The witnesses at Orgreave  have always insisted that the South Yorkshire Police orchestrated a pitched battle between striking miners and officers at the town’s coking plant.  At the time in 1984, the media tended to portray the miners as aggressors rather than the police.
But since the more recent findings over the Hillsborough disaster, which took place five years later in the same police force area, there have been allegations suggesting the evidence against the miners was 'falsified'. 
Now the Home Secretary is said to be considering what precise format the inquiry will take.
Reports suggest mounted police charged the crowd in response to some missiles being thrown. Labour MP Tristram Hunt, a historian, has previously described the episode as 'legalised state violence'.   Altogether 95 miners were charged with offences following the clashes, but their trial collapsed.

Wednesday, 14 September 2016

Keith Vaz's 'financial affairs are [a] mystery'


TODAY's The Sun newspaper reports MP Andrew Bridgen as saying:
'It is clear Keith Vaz’s financial affairs are an enigma wrapped in mystery.
'This raises many questions but we are getting very few answers from Mr Vaz.'
Keith Vaz and his wife Maria Fernandes own a £2.1million family home in London – as well as flats in the city and properties in Leicester.
One of the London flats has been at the centre of a scandal after Vaz paid and met two Eastern European male prostitutes there for sex.
An investigation by The Sun found Fernandes invested in the Goa property nine years ago.
This gated complex, which comes complete with a stunning swimming pool, is situated in the Sunset Meadows development at Betalbatim.
Fernandes owns a three-storey villa that lies 500m from the beach.
A neighbour claims Vaz entertains politicians and celebrities, including Bollywood star Amitabh Bachchan, at the colourful house.
Anarchists must wonder whether Keith Vaz and Simon Danczuk are the tip of a rather squalid parliamentary iceberg.

Tuesday, 13 September 2016

HULL: An Anarchist in City of Culture

by Chris Draper (episode 8 of 'Lives of Northern Anarchists')

IN 2017, Hull becomes Britain’s 'City of Culture' but don’t expect exhibitions or events celebrating the city’s anarchist heritage although the Daily Telegraph once claimed, 'Hull occupies a unique position in Anarchist propaganda' (5.6.1906).

Hull’s politics were conditioned by its strong maritime links with Hamburg which in the 1880’s provided a key route for the exchange of anarchist ideas, personnel and publications.  According to 1884 press reports, 'A detective has had the so-called anarchist club at Hull under his observation for some time, and the means adopted on some occasions in smuggling the FREIHEIT (newspaper) into Germany were very ingenious, copies being placed in bamboo canes in some instances.' 

'CLUB FREIHEIT', Hull’s 'so-called anarchist club' was started in 1882 by German-born activists inspired by the ideas of Johann Most.  Unfortunately, for almost a decade, the local socialist movement was divided along language lines with English-speaking Hull activists preferring the Socialist League (SL).  Run by a “soft-left” Fabian socialist, Eugene Teesdale, and inspired by a scheming statist, John Lincoln Mahon, Hull SL proved weak in both theory and practice and failed to stay the course.  Fortunately, in 1890 the language and political gulf was bridged and 'CLUB FREIHEIT' was reborn as 'CLUB LIBERTY'.

Bridge Over Trouble Water
Conrad Naewiger was ideally placed to bridge the rift between the English and German socialist communities.  Born in Berlin in 1861, Conrad had emigrated with his parents, Michael Wilhelm and Louisa Elizabeth Naewiger, to England in 1865.  Settling in Hull, Conrad followed his father into the tailoring trade but his dad wasn’t politically active.  Conrad wasn’t either until he was almost 30. His first appearance in the local paper came in 1888 when he won £2 for writing an essay on 'THRIFT' for a 'Hull Savings Bank' competition.

Gospel of Atheism
Baptised into the Lutheran Church, as 'Gustav Emil Conrad Naewiger' at St Jakob’s, Berlin, as an adult Conrad was a born-again atheist. A systematic study of world religions had caused him to conclude that God is a fiction and religion an organised conspiracy to exploit the ignorant.  An enthusiastic member of the National Secular Society he was active as both speaker and local organiser and was elected Secretary of the Hull group.  Putting his beliefs into practical effect he also supported the local branch of the Sunday Association which campaigned to stop Sunday being kept compulsorily sacred.  The SA wanted museums, galleries and similarly educative institutions open to working people on the one day of the week they weren’t obliged to labour; a modest proposal fiercely resisted by the God-botherers.

Conrad realised that the forces of religious conservatism were strongly woven into a fabric of political reaction and widened the scope of his talks to include overtly political topics.  In December 1890 he lectured at Hull’s Cobden Hall on 'Thomas Paine, His Life and Labours, after which came an animated discussion'.  He followed this up with a talk at Gladstone Hall, Bond Street, on, 'The Life of Ernest Jones', the Chartist, to Hull Labour Church.

'No God, No Master'
Whilst 'Revolutionary Socialism' was the characteristic creed of CLUB LIBERTY the politics of members stretched from Anarchism to Marxism.  Naewiger was content to simply declare himself a 'Socialist' but in reality, although close to anarchism, his approach is probably best described as 'Libertarian Communism'.  Whenever he lectured on socialism though, audiences could be certain a searing indictment of religion wouldn’t be far behind.  It would have surprised no-one that the first piece he published in the Anarchist-Communist journal,
'LIBERTY' was entitled, 'Why I am a Socialist and an Atheist'.  This article sold for years as a pamphlet.  He also penned another couple of pamphlets entitled, 'God is Love: Is it true?' and 'Was Jesus Christ a Socialist, Communist or Wise Teacher?'   Reviewing the latter, the Anarchist-Communist journal FREEDOM wrote:  'In it he exposes some of the absurdities of the teachings attributed to Jesus Christ and shows they are incompatible with a sane view of life…when we hear people referring to him as a Socialist it is time to protest and for that reason comrade Naewiger’s pamphlet may, we hope, do good.'

Conrad’s first article for FREEDOM condemned, 'The Workhouse' and the workers’ apparent indifference:  'how few of our younger generation realise the probability that they may end their days in the workhouse in spite of all the thriftiness and frugality on their part.  Is the thought not galling?' His next piece analysed the 'Vilification of Socialism' before he embarked on a five-part series identifying the 'Enemies of Progress'.  Predictably, foremost amongst these enemies, and the subject of part one was, “The Parson”, followed, successively, by; “The Philanthropist”, “The Parliamentarian”, “The Indifferentist” and, “The Capitalist”. Part three best captured the distinctively anarchist aspect of Naewiger’s “socialism”; “Parliamentarians uphold the present system of society and are the enemies of progress. When the people recognise this they will soon depend upon themselves. They have been too long in leading strings; let them learn to walk”.

Unity is Strength
One of Naewiger’s first political acts, in 1890, was unionising his fellow tailors. Speaking on the platform at the Sailors Institute alongside the President of Hull Trades Council he reminded his audience that despite the skill demanded of a journeyman tailor the wages were as low as a labourer and unemployment was rife. Writing to the local paper, as Secretary of the local Amalgamated Society of Tailors, he pointed out, “the tailor still gets the same wage he received 20 or 30 years ago in spite of the greatly increased price of commodities, higher rents and dearer food”. Characteristically his ingenious libertarian solution wasn’t the legal imposition of a minimum wage or any other statist device; “The AST meet the public by issuing a label which is sewn on every coat by employees supplied to employers who pay fair wages and have sanitary workshops. It is up to trade unionists to look for this label when buying suits…It is up to Hull tailors to join the AST (meeting place Shop Assistants’ Institute, Pryme Street), and take their stand for bettering their conditions”. He never abandoned the struggle and was still actively recruiting to the union in the year he died.

Revolutionary Tributes
In 1891 Naewiger appeared for the first time on a widely advertised revolutionary platform, alongside anarchist comrades, George Cores, Andrew Hall and Gustav Smith. The venue was Hull’s Alhambra Palace, Porter Street and the occasion was a Commemoration of the Chicago Anarchists. Posters proclaimed; “WORKERS OF HULL! You are earnestly invited to commemorate in common with our fellow-workers in every part of the civilized world, the Murder, by Law of five Anarchist Labour Leaders in Chicago, on November 11th 1887 and also to protest against the life-long imprisonment of three others for having taken a leading part in the Eight Hours Agitation in 1886 and for having preached the coming Emancipation of the Workers and the Reign of Freedom.”

Conrad was already an active member of CLUB LIBERTY, organising open air meetings on Hull’s Drypool Green every Sunday morning. Every Sunday afternoon and evening, Conrad and co. hosted indoor lectures at Cobden Hall, School Street. One of his friends, Gustav Smith’s titles neatly encapsulated the group’s ideology, “Anarchism: Order Without Government”.

The local paper gave fair account of many of the club’s activities.  In March 1893, a correspondent writes:   'Under the auspices of the Hull Socialists, the Paris Commune Commemoration was held in CLUB LIBERTY, Princes Street, on Monday evening, a large gathering of people being present and all available standing room occupied. The audience was very interested in the speeches and the hall remained crowded until the close of the various addresses.  The chair was occupied by Mr G E Conrad Naewiger who was pleased to see such a large audience…the question of today was the same as the question of 1871 – the battle of Capital and Labour.'

Personal is Political
Naewiger married Rosina in 1887 and although the naming of their first-born, William Louis Conrad, was conventional in combining elements of his father’s and mother’s names with his own, the names of their next two offspring reflected a growing political awareness. Victor Hugo Naewiger was born in 1888 and his little brother Percy Bysshe Naewiger arrived the following year. Despite their radical names, neither son seems to have followed their father into radical politics. 

Fisherman’s Friend
Agitator, atheist, anarchist, angler! Conrad liked to fish and was secretary of the “Osborne Angling Association”.  He fished competitively and it paid off!  His efforts against 'Abercrombie Angling Club' won him a 'fruit stand', another contest yielded 'a tea set', while a third brought 'a pair of sheets'.

Conrad was also keen on cards and on occasions was able to combine comradeship with competitive whist.  Not long before he died he played cards for a team from the Socialist Club that defeated the “City Club” 274 to 248. 

Naewiger was also no musical slouch and was happy to entertain any of the organisations he supported with a turn on the piano or the banjo! In 1908 he was a prime mover in starting the “Hull Banjo, Mandolin and Guitar Club” and served as the Honorary Secretary. 

Mutual Aid
Naewiger didn’t just preach brotherhood he practiced as an energetic officer of the “Loyal United Order of Oddfellows”.  The LUOOF was one of many Friendly Societies created by working men to provide for themselves and their families primarily in times of hardship, ill-health and bereavement. By paying in regular small sums when in work, the members were enabled to claim support when unemployed.  Of course, there was also a strong social and emotional element and members who thus created sophisticated networks of mutual aid that, later in the twentieth century, became moribund once the State took over many of their more vital functions.  In 1908 though the LUOOF was flourishing when it elected Brother Naewiger as its new Grand Master (illustrated above wearing ceremonial sash).

Class War 
In 1893, just as socialist ideas were taking off, Hull shipowners began a systematic campaign to import thousands of blacklegs to break the docker’s unions. The government sent soldiers and two gunboats, Hearty and Firefly, to protect scabs who were brought in from all over England. A real battle ensued with warehouses fired and pickets attacked by troops. 

Naewiger reported on the strike for FREEDOM:  'The old town of Hull has been awakened into activity by a dispute of gigantic proportions between capital and labour…the scum of the earth had been gathered together by the clever capitalist to outwit honest labour…where once were quiet citizens, now soldiers with drawn swords, policemen with batons in their hands, riot, disturbance, fights, stone-throwing can be seen.'   He was convinced that the stark nature of the dispute had radical effects;  'Many have been converted to Revolutionary Socialism who have up to now been halting between Revolutionary v. Constitutional methods.'  Naewiger reported that, 'One unionist was shot in the thigh by a “free labourer”…The gunsmiths of Hull have been doing a roaring trade; one shop in particular having sold out the whole stock two or three times…This should be a lesson to all workers. If the police allow “free labourers” to carry revolvers the workers should also have some'!

Naewiger and his comrades did all they could to push the class war; 'Thousands of FREEDOMS, COMMONWEALS and tracts have been distributed amongst the strikers. Lectures have been given to the dockers by members of CLUB LIBERTY and our banners ( motto; “IS LIBERTY WORTH FIGHTING FOR?”) have done good service at all meetings and demonstrations….The workers are learning a bitter lesson.'  Indeed they were and after seven weeks the strike ended in their abject defeat.

Bitter Lessons
The role of CLUB LIBERTY hadn’t escaped the attention of the authorities who used every trick in the licensing book to hound the club out of existence.  Meanwhile, far from increasing militancy, after the strike the workers turned towards more constitutional methods and compromise.  As the decade advanced and Britain drifted towards a second Boer War an outbreak of jingoism erupted, further undermining Hull’s working class solidarity.  A prolonged rash of angry letters appeared in the Hull Daily Mail questioning the loyalty of the city’s German residents and in the years immediately before and after 1900 socialism in Hull collapsed.

As a socialist, Naewiger opposed Britain’s role in the Boer War but as Secretary of the Osborne Angling Club he appeared to support it!  The problem arose after the Daily Mail launched a fund to 'Support Our War Effort' and other club members were keen to collect together a donation.  Some anarchists would have resigned but it was typical of Conrad that maintaining his friendship with fellow anglers trumped his personal political philosophy.  As a consequence, on 5th December 1899 he saw his name (alongside that of OAA) published in the newspaper recognising an 11s donation to the Mail’s War Fund.

Shoots of Recovery?
There were hopes for renewed activism in November 1902 when a well publicised gathering decided, 'to work locally along the lines of pure Socialism independently of either of the established parties.'  Nevertheless, evidence of decline over the previous decade was captured by press reports of the 1903 May Day; 'Those present at the May Day Labour meeting at St George’s Hall, yesterday could not help contrasting it with the large crowds which used to surround half-a-dozen platforms from each of which there was a flood of oratory in the palmy days of the trades union movement in Hull.'

It wasn’t until 1906 that Naewiger and comrades effectively restored revolutionary politics to Hull and then under an avowedly Marxist and statist banner. As the 8th October Hull Daily Mail reported: 'Last night the Social Democratic Federation held their first indoor meeting at the Friendly Societies Hall, Albion Street…the lecturer for the evening Mr E G Conrad Naewiger, spoke on the subject of Socialism'.  Conrad had lost none of his political commitment but, pragmatically and emotionally, preferred to campaign alongside local militants than stand out, alone, for undiluted anarchism. Neither had he forgotten his experience of the 1893 dispute. When troops fired on Belfast strikers he assured his SDF audience, 'The soldiers were taken to Belfast not to protect the interests of the working classes but to protect the interests of the capitalist class…as soon as they (the workers) stood on the corn of the employer he was down on them at once' and reminded his comrades that, 'Police batoned onlookers during the Hull dock strike.'

Conrad’s stirring critiques of capitalism put iron into the soul of comrades and one regular attender of his weekly SDF meetings even adopted Conrad’s 1893 speculation about workers carrying firearms. According to the 6th November 1906 Hull Daily Mail'On the evening of 25 October, Elsie Batty, a typist, created a sensation at a Socialist (SDF) meeting in Hull…she was one of an audience listening to a lecture and occupied a seat near the door. Soon after proceedings began she left the hall and immediately afterwards a shot was heard. A member of the Federation ran out and found Miss Elsie Batty in the corridor with a revolver lying beside her. She was bleeding from the right temple.' Subsequently accused of attempted suicide Elsie informed Police Constable Cherry, 'I have carried the revolver for a long time as I like to carry one. They are my Socialist views.'

Friends and Enemies
Elsie’s interpretation of socialism wasn’t Conrad’s only concern. The SDF’s own version of socialism was tainted by the peculiarly nationalistic opinions of their founder and leader, Henry Mayers Hyndman. Hyndman insisted that Britain should rule the waves and demanded ever bigger battleships and, in February 1908 wrote, “Germany is in an aggressive mood…When Germany is ready she will strike.” Such xenophobia was hardly likely to endear Conrad to party comrades never mind the general public and so during the course of 1906-7 the “Naewiger” family gradually transformed itself into the “Navier” family.

Conrad continued to campaign for socialism but as the decade advanced nationalism increased. When Zeppelins raided Hull on the night of 6th June 1915 anti-German demonstrations broke out throughout Hull and continued for three days before police restored order. Anything German was considered a fair target by the mob. Four German-owned shops on Hessle Road and a pork butcher on Charles Street were attacked by angry crowds of up to 700 people. Another pork butcher at 22 Princes Avenue was attacked several times. Eventually £258,000 was paid out in compensation but the long-term social damage was more significant. Hull’s German community never recovered its pre-war importance and Conrad’s heart was broken. Two months later, on Monday 16th August 1915, he died, aged just 54, in Hull Workhouse.

In the midst of war, Conrad’s Naewiger’s funeral brought together many otherwise disparate elements of the Hull community. The local paper recorded that, “The coffin was covered with wreaths, prominent amongst them one from the members of the Socialist Club, composed of red blooms, with the inscription, Con, we shall miss you. To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die.”

Christopher Draper (September 2016)

Monday, 12 September 2016

Mr Dale's Diary


This is the diary of a man of our times.  Any resemblance to anyone living is, of course, purely coincidental.
Monday 12th September 2016

 Moaning Minnies at it again, but a quiet weekend and week really.  Need to keep my head down sometimes (and my trousers up according to my man!).  Still, I need more money, seems my ex has suddenly discovered that she needs more financial help!

After giving advice to a colleague, a kindred spirit, I have had an idea.  Yes, I, not my man, have had an idea!  Why not offer to write an agony aunt’s (uncle) column in a newspaper. I have plenty of experience to draw on in so many ways.  A successful and great man like myself can give advice on dealing with problems and how to get round them.  Whatever the issue, it can be got round. I find carrying on regardless seems to be the best policy.  Just ignore the critics, they are so insignificant and unimportant compared to ME.  Another option is to know the guilty secrets of those around you. Look out Big Man and Ginge and my exes!

Talking of Laurel and Hardy, they are up to something with regard to what should be my the ME Park.  If they do something else with the area, there had better be a considerable wad in it for me.  I have not given up my ambitions yet. It could be a money spinner at Christmas as Santa’s grotto.  It’s big enough for reindeer, even a Christmas market.  I have the Big Man down as Santa, Ginge and ‘my man’ would make fine elves as would some nice young ladies.
******

Thursday, 8 September 2016

The Archers: Domestic Dramas North & South

'Rape charities have called for the arrest of Rob Titchener, the bullying husband in the long-running Archers domestic abuse plot, after his wife revealed that he had raped her "over and over again".
'Polly Neate, the chief executive of Women's Aid, said it would be "an insult to abuse survivors everywhere" if Rob, who was stabbed by his wife, Helen, as she tried to leave him, was not arrested after Tuesday's explosive episode.'
Catching Helen’s family outside the courtroom following the third day of the torturous trial, Anna beamed: “Good I’ve caught you - now, don’t get too excited by this, but Rob’s ex-wife Jessica has come forward.”  As Tom and Pat celebrated, Anne interrupted: “I can’t really say what she’s going to say, but it’s significant; She’s given a statement”.'

Rochdale Novelist Responds to Historian

Brian ~ the writer (Felipe Fernández-Armesto) argues that sexual misdeeeds are piffling in comparison with bribery and corruption and other matters of financial skullduggery and that Danczuk's sins are fairly minor. But the writer seems unaware that Danczuk has also been involved (and it's ongoing as we speak) in dubious financial practices too, in that he claimed nearly ten grand in expenses from the Commons to host accommodation in London for two of his children ~ who never stayed with him. So our Simon seems to operate on all fronts with equal aplomb.
 
Trevor (Hoyle): Rochdale novelist and author

Spain's Superior Sins!


Is Danczuk in trafficing in toenails lowering tone of Political Sin?

THE historian, Felipe Fernández-Armesto (10th, February 2016) in El Mondo below ponders how Simon Danczuk, 'Pobre Simon Danczuk', may be devaluing the corrupt  practices of politicians to the level of something like comic opera.  While at least Spanish politicians approach a swindle in an intelligent worthwhile way with an eye for the economic value of the transaction Danczuk's dalliances in 'delinquencies' seem 'tonterias' or 'stupidities' by comparison.  By being titillated by a prostitutes toenails Danczuk would seem, on the face of it, to put even Mack-the-Knife from  Bertolt Brecht's 'The Threepenny Opera' in the shade.
For original article in El Mondo go to  
www.elmundo.es › Opinión
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FELIPE FERNÁNDEZ-ARMESTO. 10/02/2016 03:02.

 ******

Política y sexo, mala conjunction
by Felipe Fernández-Armesto
HOW MUCH, dear reader, for a bit of toenail?

The idea  would never have occurred to me to sell my toenails until I read the narratives of the journalists in the sex scandal that has raised big interest in the United Kingdom.  I refer to the case of the Labour MP, Simon Danczuk, who denounced his predecessor in the House of Commons,  the liberal Cyril Smith, known for his supreme fatness, yet also for his fame for his frankness that alarmed his colleagues.

Thanks to the intervention of Danczuk, Smith is now disgraced as a pedophile homosexual.  Now   Danczuk, since the failure of his marriage, has started a correspondence with a young girl of 17-years, proposing various sexual options that have been specified in reports published but that,including a good 'whipping'.  It is thought that he met a web fetishista where the girl sells – I cite the text of the Daily Mail:  'bits of her toenails' and samples of dirty underwear. 

I am very old and understand little of what's happening in the world of today.  Yet this history is very disconcerting, I suppose for everyone.

Two aspects , above all, are for me incomprehensible.  In the first place, the revelation that there exist such situations on the web leaves me perplexed.  How does one decide to announce an asset which will produce an offer?  How do you calculate its value?  Is the underwear that has been used to a state of great filthiness worth more than that that is only slightly soiled?  And the toenails, are they worth more more if they've been well used?  Is a big one of more value to a small one? Or is one of the small finger or of the attractive foot worth more for its daintiness than that of the fat foot?   Or maybe it is a question of colour.  One very brilliant, perhaps, will be more desirable sexually than another painted....

I don't want to have the cheek to imagine what the consumers do with the products obtained in the situation embraced by Señor Danczuk.  The underwear that serves let's suppose to wash-up the dishes, that results may work out more economic and more efficient, if I don't equivocate....  But, these toenails!  I confess that I am preoccupied.  Which perversion serves me? I don't suppose they are edible, like the rich feet of the pig that you cook in Galicia on the days of San Lázaro accompanied with chorizos or laurel sauce.  I don't go to connect to the web to realise investigations, nor go to register with a client and a pour over pornographic messages to fall over  Yes I have enough problems for me to inscribe on Skype with the object of making contact with persons whose names are evidently fictional, such as 'SexyKitten' and 'Spankykins'.  In case how then does a reader get things clear.  The requirement, in each case, should I maintain a decent silence and turn to the English poet, Alexander Pope, who said 'ignorance is bliss'.

Now I'm left perplexed with the persecution that we have in England with the disgraced sexually frustrated MP (Simon Danczuk).  In Europe, we are not wanted to bar our leaders as a consequence of sexual questions.  Making propositions to prostitutes is not, until now, the most grave offense.  Clearly Danczuk had thrown the first stone in denouncing Cyril Smith, and could be accused of hypocrisy.  But the 'pecado' that Smith did was presumed homosexual paedophilia:  quite distinct, from Danczuk's proposal of a session of 'ñaca-ñaca' to a lass that sells dirty underwear on the internet.  I know that the sexual practices we permit in one society, may be distinguished from that of others who would not accept those same practices.   These are always difficult to compare.  What one can say is that the important thing is that that the sex act is consensual.  For this reason, within the current legal doctrines, we would permit routine fornication, while always denying paedophilia and, within the sexual propositions, we'd admit good humour and condemn the repulsive...

In the case of sexual excess played out by politicians I can't find any coherent criteria.  In the United States, for example, Bill Clinton was able to keep the presidency despite having entertained Monica Lewinsky in the White House, while the Senator Gary Hart had to renounce his aspirations for the presidency for having an intrigue with a divorced woman.  In the 'case of Clinton', the consensus is not clear, because the young girl was working under the orders of the President, meanwhile in the 'case of Hart', the mature Señora was independent, and seemed to participate with enthusiasm with her lover. 

Eliot Spitzer, in another manifestation more recent example of the prudishness of the United States,  led to the resignation of a governor of New York for consorting with prostitutes.   The evidence that these relations were consensual and that they were paid special elevated prices – which, according to the citizens contributes most gravely in this case.  In France, we see, (Holland) abandon a series of women didn't damage a president of the republic, meanwhile in Italy , in the 'case of Berlusconi', the promiscuity without discernment only served at once to realise the machismo of the former Prime Minister.  Then we have poor Danczuk, who did no more than exchange text messages with a sales-woman of toenails.  He never met her or went to bed with her.  We don't even know if he had the consolation of acquiring toenails or garments of used underwear.  Yes,  we can accuse him of  bad taste; yes he may be stupid or pathetic; but he is not a monster like his predecessor in the House of Commons. 

There is no value to extend the sexual discussion, that would be basically irrational.  Nor does it deserve the trouble of studying the attitude of the public regard for the sexual stupidity of politicians because we can see this has an echo of the same irrationality.  Cases like that of Danczuk are part of the real world, even though some may think it alien, and throughly intelligible to a person of my generation.   Yes one can comment about the fraud of the electronic posts or drink powdered coca, or spend ones time following celebrities on Facebook, Twitter or YouTube.  Until now one can vote on Celebrity Big Brother.  Also one is able to show interest for the pieces of toenail  of a prostitute.  For me, they are all are equally stupid!

But at least a clear conclusion that we can get out of this mess in over the interest in Danczuk:

In Spain in political life we are lucky to experience cases with much more frequency in financial corruption than sexual scandals, the body of interest of the Spanish public is in the sex lives of singers, actoresses, sportmen and the members of Royal families.  I agree that a councillor in the town of Toledo  ---- who had to resign for performing in a pornographic homemade video; but this was more for the difficulty of maintaining the dignity of his position than for the supposed erotic vice.  In Italy, we have the examples in the general elections, like the notorious Ciccionina, without any consequence.

In Spain, for a change, we are immersed in a list of hundreds of politicians implicated in frauds or bribery...  Therefore, the proper question to ask in the New Year with the cases of 'ERE' in Andalucia, 'Gürtel (with his 'Bárcenas' case' ), 'Nóos', 'Pujol', 'Púnica', 'Rato' and 'Torredembarra', 'the Popular Party of Valencia' ... without mentioning other examples of rumours or accusations that have been brought the courts, like that of Gómez of the Serna and I don't know how many more.

I believe we should be happy about our major affliction of our sexual corruption. But what are we make of the fiscal fraud, the bribery or the embezzlement of funds compared with the delinquency of Danczuk!   Which is a more logical, clever, coherent and practical of all those (economic) sins our own politicians commit  or those of the less fortunate people (like Danczuk)?  We don't have a major elite in the moral respect, but compared to the rest (Danczuk etc) our sins are more intelligent.

Spanish Translation of El Mondo article




www.elmundo.es › Opinión
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FELIPE FERNÁNDEZ-ARMESTO. 10/02/2016 03:02.

by FELIPE FERNÁNDEZ-ARMESTO  10/02/2016 03:02

¿Cuánto valen, querido lector, sus trozos de uñas? No se me hubiera ocurrido la idea de intentar vender los míos hasta leer las narraciones periodísticas de un escándalo sexual que acaba de suscitar gran interés en el Reino Unido. Se trata del caso de un diputado laborista, Simon Danczuk, que ha denunciado a su predecesor en la Cámara de los Comunes, el liberal Cyril Smith, conocido sobre todo por su inmensa gordura, aunque también por la fama de una franqueza que alarmaba a sus colegas. Gracias a la intervención de Danczuk, Smith acabó deshonrado por pedófilo homosexual. Ahora resulta que Danczuk, tras la quiebra de su matrimonio, inició correspondencia con una joven de 17 años, proponiéndole varias opciones sexuales que no se han especificado en los reportajes publicados pero que, por lo visto, incluían una buena «azotainita». Al parecer se conocieron en una web fetichista donde la chica vendía - cito textualmente del diario inglés 'Daily Mail'- «trozos de sus uñas del pie» y muestras de su ropa interior usada.

Soy ya muy viejo y entiendo poco de lo que sucede en el mundo de hoy. Pero esta historia es del todo desconcertante, supongo que para todos. Dos aspectos, sobre todo, me resultan incomprensibles. En primer lugar, la revelación de que existen tales sitios web me deja perplejo. ¿Cómo se anunciaría la disponibilidad de los productos en oferta? ¿Cómo se calcula su valor? ¿Vale más la ropa interior muy usada que la poco usada? ¿Y las uñas, deben dar la sensación también de estar usadas? ¿Vale más una uña grande que una pequeña? ¿O es que la del dedo pequeño del pie atrae más por su delicadeza que la del dedo gordo? O quizás sea una cuestión de color. Una muy brillante, tal vez, será más deseable sexualmente que otra sin pintar. ¿Hay que colocar fotos de los pies relevantes para suscitar el apetito de los clientes? ¿O influirá más la exposición de otras zonas del cuerpo de la anunciante?

Ni me atrevo a intentar imaginar lo que hacen los consumidores con los productos adquiridos en el sitio consultado por el señor Danczuk. La ropa interior servirá, supongo, para pulir vajillas, aunque resultaría más económico y más eficiente, si no me equivoco, emplear un paño. Pero, ¡esas uñas! Confieso que me tienen preocupado. ¿A qué perversidad sexual podrían servir? Supongo que no son comestibles, como las ricas uñas de cerdo que se guisan en Galicia los días de San Lázaro acompañadas de bertones y chorizos o salsa de laurel. No voy a conectar con la web para realizar investigaciones, no vaya a ser que me registren como cliente y un diluvio de mensajes pornográficos se me caiga encima. Ya tengo bastantes problemas por haberme inscrito en Skype con el objetivo de iniciar contacto con personajes de nombres evidentemente ficticios, tales como 'SexyKitten' y 'Spankykins'. Acaso habrá algún lector a quien se le ocurrirá aclararlo. Le ruego, en tal caso, que mantenga un silencio decente y me deje en lo que el poeta inglés, Alexander Pope, llamó la «felicidad del ignorante».

Luego me deja perplejo la persecución que se ha iniciado en Inglaterra contra el desgraciado diputado sexualmente frustrado. En Europa no solemos inhabilitar a nuestros dirigentes por cuestiones sexuales. Hacer proposiciones a prostitutas no es, desde luego, lo más grave. Claro que Danczuk había lanzado la primera piedra denunciando a Smith, lo que le expone comprensiblemente a acusaciones de hipocresía. Pero el 'pecado' de éste fue de presunta pedofilia homosexual: bastante distinto, desde luego, que proponer una sesión de 'ñaca-ñaca' a una chica que vende ropa interior usada por internet. Saber cuáles son los actos sexuales permitidos por la sociedad actual y cómo distinguirlos de otros que no están aceptados es cada vez más difícil. A veces se dice que lo importante del sexo es que sea consensuado. Por eso, según las doctrinas vigentes, se permite la fornicación rutinaria, siempre que no sea pedófila, y, entre las proposiciones sexuales, se admiten las exitosas y se condenan las que se rechazan. Pero seguimos sin tolerar el incesto, aun con consenso entre las personas.

En los casos de excesos sexuales protagonizados por políticos no veo ningún criterio coherente. En Estados Unidos, por ejemplo, Bill Clinton pudo mantenerse como presidente a pesar de entretener a Mónica Lewinsky en la Casa Blanca, mientras que el senador Gary Hart tuvo que renunciar a sus aspiraciones presidenciales por mantener una intriga con una divorciada. En el 'caso Clinton', el consenso no estaba claro, ya que la joven becaria trabajaba a las órdenes del presidente, mientras que en el 'caso Hart', la señora -madura ya e independiente- al parecer compartía el entusiasmo de su amante.

Eliot Spitzer, en otra manifestación más reciente de la mojigatería estadounidense, tuvo que dimitir como gobernador de Nueva York por contratar a prostitutas. La prueba de que sus relaciones eran consensudas era que les pagaba tasas especialmente elevadas -lo cual, según los ciudadanos contribuyentes hacía más grave aún el caso-. En Francia, por lo visto, abandonar a una serie de mujeres no desmerece a un presidente de la República, mientras que en Italia, en el 'caso Berlusconi', la promiscuidad sin discernimiento sólo servía para realzar el machismo del entonces primer ministro. Al fin y el cabo, el pobre Danczuk no logró hacer nada más que intercambiar mensajes de texto con la vendedora de uñas. No consta ni que se acostara con nadie que fuera su mujer. Ni sabemos si tuvo el consuelo de adquirir unas uñitas ni prendas de ropa interior usadas. Se le puede acusar de mal gusto; se le puede culpar de ser tonto o patético; pero no de ser un monstruo sexual al nivel de su predecesor en la Cámara de los Comunes.

No vale la pena intentar entender el comportamiento sexual, que es básicamente irracional. Tampoco merece la pena estudiar la actitud del público respecto las tonterías sexuales de los políticos, ya que, por lo visto, se hace eco de esa misma irracionalidad. Casos como el de Danczuk son parte de este mundo actual que parece ajeno e ininteligible para una persona de mi generación. Hay quien responde a estafas por correo electrónico, o bebe cacao en polvo, o gasta el tiempo siguiendo a celebridades por Facebook, Twitter o YouTube. Hasta hay quien vota a la CUP. Así que puede haber quien se interese por los trozos de uñas de prostitutas. Para mí, son todos iguales de estúpidos.

Pero hay por lo menos una conclusión clara que se puede sacar del lío en que se ha metido Danzcuk. En España en la vida política tenemos la suerte de experimentar casos mucho más frecuentes de corrupción financiera que de escándalo sexual, a pesar de que el público español tiene interés insaciable en conocer detalles de las vidas sexuales de cantantes, actrices, deportistas y familias reales. Me acuerdo de una concejal de un pueblo de Toledo -cargo modesto, desde luego- que tuvo que dimitir por protagonizar un vídeo casero pornográfico; pero eso fue más por la dificultad de mantener su dignidad que por sus supuestos vicios eróticos. En Italia hubiera podido presentarse a las elecciones generales, como la notoria Cicciolina, sin que pasara nada.

En España, en cambio, estamos inmersos en la lista de cientos de casos de políticos inculpados en fraudes y subornos. Según mi propia cuenta empezamos el año nuevo con los casos 'ERE' de Andalucía, 'Gürtel' (con su 'caso Bárcenas' suplementario), 'Nóos', 'Pujol', 'Púnica', 'Rato' y 'Torredembarra', 'PP de Valencia'... sin contar otros ejemplos de rumores o acusaciones que no se han llevado todavía a los tribunales, como el de Gómez de la Serna y no sé cuántos más.

Creo que debemos felicitarnos por nuestra mayor afición a la corrupción que al sexo. ¡Cuánto más inteligible es el fraude fiscal o el soborno o la malversación de fondos que la delincuencia del señor Danczuk! ¡Cuánto más lógicos, listos, coherentes y prácticos son los pecados de nuestros políticos que los de pueblos menos afortunados! No tenemos una élite mejor, en el sentido moral, que los demás; pero, tal vez, en este respeto, sí más inteligente.

Felipe Fernández-Armesto es historiador y titular de la cátedra William P. Reynolds de Artes y Letras de la Universidad de Notre Dame (Indiana, EEUU).

Wednesday, 7 September 2016

Child Abuse Judge Lambasts Enquiry


DAME Lowell Goddard, who became the third judge to walk out when she resigned last month, described the inquiry’s size and scale as an 'inherent problem' that needs 'remodelling'
She also claimed it is under-funded and suffers from a lack of experienced staff. 
The New Zealand judge urged home secretary Amber Rudd to review the inquiry’s remit, which was set up to probe child abuse allegations in institutions, such as Westminster, the church, councils and schools, over the past 60 years. 
In a memo to the home affairs select committee, which was seen by The Times, she wrote:
'With the benefit of hindsight, or more realistically the benefit of experience, it is clear there is an inherent problem in the sheer scale and size of the inquiry (which its budget does not match) and therefore in its manageability.' 
The new head is Professor Alexis Jay, a social work specialist. 
She added:  'My departure provides a timely opportunity to undertake a complete review of the inquiry in its present form, with a view to remodelling it and recalibrating its emphasis more towards current events and thus focussing major attention on the present and future protection of children.'
Dame Lowell, 67, stepped down on August 5 after it was reported that she had spent three months of her first year in the job either on holiday or overseas, primarily in New Zealand, her home country. 
She had been appointed with an salary and benefits package totalling £500,000 after Mrs May’s two previous choices for the post also resigned. 
The new head is Professor Alexis Jay, a social work specialist who is backed by a panel, victims of sex abuse and other expert advisers. 
The inquiry, set up in March last year, has already amassed millions of pages of documents but has yet to take evidence from witnesses.

The Radical North & Melvyn Bragg


TODAY, Melvyn Bragg explores the radical movements that sprang from the North - Chartism, the campaign for women's votes, anti-slavery protests, the birth of the Labour Party.  The programme begins outside Manchester's Midland Hotel where Mr Rolls met Mr Royce.  It's also near the site of the Peterloo Massacre - one of the defining moments in British social history.  People had gathered here in their thousands from the city and surrounding towns and villages - protesting for parliamentary reform. fifteen were slain and hundreds wounded by charging cavalry troops.  Melvyn visits what one contributor Dr Robert Poole describes as Democracy Wall - it runs alongside of the nearby Quaker Meeting House - many people were crushed against it at the time of the Massacre. The wall is the only structure left from the period.  The massacre inspired the poet Shelley to write the Masque of Anarchy, part of which is read for us by the actor Maxine Peake.
Melvyn goes on to describe the rich history of dissent nurtured in the north - the women's suffrage movement, the campaign to abolish slavery, chartism, and the founding of the Independent Labour Party.
Why the north?
Was it Methodism, the size of the population, the isolated landscapes, the topography of the cities or even the weather?

Simon Danczuk: 'MPs with real life experience'!



YESTRDAY, the Rochdale MP Simon Danczuk, a veteran of sex scandals, told Julia Rampen in The New Statesman that Keith Vaz should ignore calls to resign after allegations about his private life.
Danczuk believes it was right Vaz resigned from his select committee.  He said: “I think he is going to discuss it in more detail with the members of the committee. You have got to remember he is elected by MPs. There should be a discussion about conflict of interest. I think Keith would admit it himself.
“But let’s put it into perspective. As far as we know he hasn’t done anything illegal. We have different moral judgements.”
"In my experience, the reaction in the constituency can be very different from social media.  The benefit of being the MP for Rochdale is people come up to you and tell you exactly what they think. This little old Irish lady came up to me and said: ‘I see you’re up to your old tricks again.’  But then she said: 'I wish the papers would leave you alone. You get on with your day job.’
 "We don’t want cosseted MPs that meet a certain moral standard, we want people who have real life experience and bring it to inform policy. Britain’s a better place by having politicians in parliament who are from colourful backgrounds."
Mr. Danczuk, given his own vivid 'real life experiences', has a vested interest in promoting this tolerant point of view with regard to politicians.

Tuesday, 6 September 2016

Jeremy Corbyn & Trident

Out of Step

‘SOME of Corbyn’s positions are flatly unpopular,’ Tom Crewe writes (LRB, 11 August).  ‘On Trident especially he is way out of step with public opinion.’  He supplies no evidence in support of this wild statement.  The CND’s website lists 11 different polls over the last ten years that have indicated majorities against renewal of Trident:  63 per cent in the Mail on Sunday in June 2010, 58 per cent in the Independent in September 2009 and so on.  Stop the War cites data compiled by Nick Ritchie and Paul Ingram, who reviewed all the polling data between 2005 and July 2013.  They found that ‘13 representative polls have offered a straight choice between renewing Trident or not. Opinion has varied from poll to poll and from year to year, but seven surveys have found more opposition to renewal than support.’  The average was 39.4 per cent in favour of renewing Trident and 44.4 per cent against, with the rest unsure.  When the cost of Trident is mentioned, support tends to drop significantly.  In a study conducted by Greenpeace in 2005, for example, 44 per cent supported Trident and 46 per cent opposed it, but if an alternative spending proposal was mentioned – the number of schools that could be built instead – just 33 per cent remained in favour and 54 per cent against.  A YouGov poll in 2009 that offered alternative spending proposals found that just 30 per cent opted to spend the money on nuclear weapons.
What’s more, these polls were taken when the costs of Trident were estimated to be much lower than they are now.  The lifetime cost of Trident is currently estimated at £205 billion and, according to the Conservative MP Crispin Blunt, chairman of the Foreign Affairs Select Committee, could rise exponentially.   ‘This is a colossal investment in a weapons system that will become increasingly vulnerable,’ he has said, ‘and for whose security we will have to throw good money after bad – in fact tens of billions more than already estimated – to try to keep it safe in the decades to come.’
Frank Stone
Great Yarmouth, Norfolk
 
Letter in London Review of Books / Sept 2016
Letter sent to NV from Trevor Hoyle, Rochdale.

Monday, 5 September 2016

Danczuk defends Mr. Vazeline!


11-hours ago The Sun ran a story by Jonathan Reilly entitled:  'MR VAZELINE Who is Keith Vaz?'

and the Sunday Mirror reported:  'Voters overwhelmingly agreed yesterday that the veteran Labour MP for Leicester East must stand down in the wake of the Sunday Mirror’s revelations that he met male prostitutes .'
AT the same time, the small-time slippery MP for Rochdale, Simon Danczuk, dived-in declaring his compassion for 'Mr. Vazeleine'.  Mr. Danczuk, who has had his own private life problems and is currently suspended from the Labour Party because of communications with a prostitute over the trafficking of toe nails among other things, told to Stig Abell on LBC yesterday:  'It’s not a nice position to be in, under the scrutiny around your personal, private life,' he said, adding that more compassion was needed around these issues.
Yet, The Sun journalist Mr Reilly also reports of Keith Vaz, the Labour MP for Leicester East 'Slippery MP smeared with 30 years of sleaze – from expenses scandals to poppers and sex with male prostitutes.   Throughout his 29-year political career the veteran MP has been caught up in sleaze and cash scandals.' 
And Mr. Reilly adds:

'Last night he was hoping to perform the greatest Houdini act of his 29-year political career following the sex and drugs revelations involving two male prostitutes.'

Now, Mr. Danczuk calls for compassion for politicians like Keith Vaz and himself, who have been caught out while what some would call 'living the good life' while drawing their expenses.  Both Danczuk and Keith Vaz have form when it comes to expenses:  Today, Jonathan Reilly writes about Keith Vaz: 

'The most notorious probe was in 2001 after two Indian billionaires applied for British passports.  He intervened on their behalf and it later emerged the pair had paid £1,200 to a company run by his wife Maria.  The MP quit as Tony Blair’s Minister for Europe at the height of the row but was cleared of failing to declare the cash to watchdogs.  Eight years later he was engulfed in the MPs’ expenses scandal.  But again he emerged unscathed.'
And the Daily Mirror has recently reported of Simon Danczuk: 'The Rochdale MP claimed for the most first class journeys of any MP in the country - and made the third highest cash claim overall.'  and 'Suspended MP Simon Danczuk claimed nearly £10,000 on train journeys last year...the most of any politician in the country '
No wonder these politicians stick-up for each other.

Mr. Dale's Diary


This is the diary of a man of our times.  Any resemblance to anyone living is, of course, purely coincidental.
Monday 5th September 2016

Seems a fellow of importance in a similar position to ME (but clearly not quite as fine as my good self) has hit a bit of trouble with his ‘hobbies’.  We fine chaps need to stick together, after all we have not broken the law, how could we?  Others may see some of our actions as crimes, but if we don’t then that is an end to the matter.  I only hope he got a satisfactory ‘enhancement’ from the publicity, I certainly would have.  I wonder if he needs advice on this, for a small fee of course – now there is an immense opportunity to trouser some real cash.

What has he done?  Employing a serf to satisfy his needs, with a bit of ‘enhancement’ for them and himself. How can that be a problem for US?  We need to stop these serfs criticising US.

 What can we do? Exile them? Why not?

Now , a word from our sponsors…
******

'ROTTEN BOROUGHS' in Greater Manchester


  Greater Manchester Combined Authority's 'investments'
In the current issue of Private Eye on the ROTTEN BOROUGH'S page is an assessment of some recent 'investments' by an 'arms-length' unelected body the GMCA.

GREATER Manchester Combined Authority (GMCA), comprises of the bosses of the 10 local councils in Greater Manchester area.  It has of late, according to 'ROTTEN BOROUGHS' in Private Eye (1426), made some strange investments 'with the money it receives from central and local government and the European Commission, which to date has contributed £356m to its coffers (though not for much longer, thanks to Brexit)'. 

Number 1 odd investment:  £1 million in the Black Dress Company, of Ardwick Green, last May.  This company, which makes black dresses, a present has a net worth of £69,000 and combined losses of £230,000.

Number 2 odd investment:  £3 million in the sofa manufacturer Sofology of Wigan.  A company forced to change its name on being found guilty of breaching the copyright of DFS.  According to Private Eye the company's 'Chief exec. Jason Tydesley trousered a pay rise of £74,000, up to £349,000 from £275,000, on the change of name.'

Number 3 odd investment:  £1 to Zuto (formerly Car Loan 4U0... a motor finance company in Macclesfield.

The GMCA, which consists of the leaders of the ten councils that compose Greater Manchester, has 'invested' £165 million of public money into more than 90 companies since 2011.  At the same time most, if not all, the local councils have pushed through cuts in front-line services like libraries etc.  What a life!

Sunday, 4 September 2016

Mr. Dale's Diary


This is the diary of a man of our times. Any resemblance to anyone living is, of course, purely coincidental.
Sunday 4th September 2016
As an internationally recognised man of affairs, I of course know what is going on. One might think that seeing America and China joining the Paris global climate agreement is a good thing. Indeed it is. They have done so because of ME !! They have seen my recent work in this field and followed my example. For those not aware of my affairs (and why aren’t you?) I have been responsible for the establishment of a magnificent new waste recycling unit in my fiefdom. This has been greeted with unparalleled delight by the serfs. These nations have seen what I have done and followed suit. What a man I am. 
I do like the railways, a fine source of income. First class. I always liked Thomas the Tank and fancied being the Fat Controller ( although some might say the Big Man is more apt). It was only missing young lady engines, who were a bit thin on the ground. Now what about a racy young lady engine with digital controls – what name can we give her – Amtrak Alice or Sophe the shunter – with a slightly older one, been through the mill, knocked about a bit? Some action in the Fat Controller’s office over a desk full of timetables. Mr Portillo won’t find that in his Bradshaws!
 And yet. despite all my famous triumphs (I think the younger generation say I’m amazeballs which is apt) , it appears that some of the serfs are still questioning by eminence and greatness. How dare they! I cannot do any wrong, they are beginning to annoy me. What do I do that is amiss? Yes, I do require certain things for my needs and I should not have to dip into my pocket to fund them. It is for the serfs to pay. I am the greatest modern family man there is. My good example costs money. Of course I need breaks and holidays by the sea and obviously somewhere to park my car at the airport not to mention the air fare. How else can I function? Filey does not quite fit the bill for a man of my esteem.
So my serfs, appreciate my greatness and part with your money with gratitude – for you are paying for ME. It’s Sunday and I’m off to church now, so that God can worship ME!
******

Saturday, 3 September 2016

Simon Danczuk & other people's money


by Les May
LADY Bracknell is one of Oscar Wilde’s most preposterous creations.  Her ignorant and often absurd comments are a satire of Victorian aristocracy.

 I was musing upon one of her more famous comments, ‘To lose one parent, Mr Worthing, may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness’ after reading yet another instalment in the life of another preposterous, and entirely self-made, creation, Simon Danczuk MP.

 To occasion an adverse comment about ones parliamentary expenses every now and then is one might say a misfortune.  To manage it four times in eight months does seem awfully like carelessness with someone else's money.  That 'someone else' being you and I of course.

 It seems that Simon claimed some £10,000 for train journeys last year which was more than any other MP in the country.  He claimed for 97 first class journeys in 2015/16, totalling £9,978 (£102.87p per trip) and he claimed for 26 standard trips at a cost of £1,248 (£48.00p per trip).  So the ratio of the number of 'first' to 'standard' was 4:1.  Worse than some Greater Manchester MPs but better than others.

 Simon's defence was:
 'I travel back and forth between London and my constituency more than nearly any other MP.  That is because, unlike many of my colleagues, I hold an advice surgery every week without fail and often attend meetings in Rochdale in the evenings and weekends.” and “I never claim for more than the standard fare for a first class seat and I always pay the difference out of my own pocket”.

 So that's alright then.  It seems a reasonable enough explanation.  But it does rather beg the question of where the figure of £9,978 came from.  Are the Mirror and the Manchester Evening News just 'spinning' the story knowing full well that Simon did not claim some £5,300 of this money but paid it out of his own pocket?  Or is Simon just putting his own gloss on the story?

 We'll probably never know, (though we should). It's at this point where I imagine most people will make their minds up about this story based on past performance.

 'Keeping your nose clean', not setting out to produce headlines or enhance your 'media profile', not setting out to profit from lurid stories about you in the media and having a reputation for being scrupulous in how you spend public money, are all excellent ways of ensuring that if you do occasionally have the misfortune to generate an unfavourable headline people are going to sympathise with you not damn you.

 What's Simon's score on all these? A fat, round zero!   

Seven Greater Manchester MPs Andy Burnham, Chris Green, Jeff Smith, Debbie Abrahams, Rebecca Long-Bailey, Kate Green and Liz McInnes only claimed for standard tickets.  I'll remember this at election time.