If This Isn't A Spoof It Should Be! By Les May

The following piece appeared in today’s Guardian (6 Nov) on the ‘Family’ page. ‘I am 16 and identify as an ace lesbian (NMLNM, or non-men loving non-men). I have questioned my sexuality since the age of 12 or 13, thinking I was bisexual. I downloaded TikTok, which allowed me to explore my identity more and interact with other queer young people. Until this summer, I questioned my identity multiple times a day (exhausting and not affirming), but I slowly began to feel confident in labelling myself as a demi-romantic, asexual lesbian (I like to use labels). However this feeling didn’t last long. I felt dysphoric a lot of the time, and I hated my breasts. Fortunately after a month, I rediscovered the term ‘demi-girl’ and it just fitted. I am also trying out she/they pronouns, but haven’t told anyone. My gender is quite fluid – some days I feel neutral, other days I feel ultra-feminine. I am open about my sexuality at school and online, and would happily tell most people that I am gay, but don’t want to come out to my parents. I think its a combination of fear, not of rejection (they are supportive of the LBGTQ+ community), and the fact that I hate the idea of having to ‘come out’ if you are queer; I don’t want to contribute to our heteronormative society. Should I tell my parents so they have time to process it, or should I wait until I have a partner to introduce to them? Also, I feel obliged to tell them of my pronoun change, but I don’t wish to be the one to use them how to use she/they pronouns, I wish they would educate themselves. If I tell them my gender and/or sexuality, I know how they would react is not in my control, but ideally our relationship will stay the same or improve.’ When my wife showed it to me she suggested it was a ‘spoof’ intended to poke fun at the ‘Alphabet Soup’ brigade. But Annalisa Barbieri, who seems to be filling the role of agony aunt, evidently took it seriously enough to pen a response including the seemingly obligatory ‘four penny worth’ from a psychotherapist. You can find the response at; https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/nov/05/i-am-16-and-identify-as-an-ace-lesbian-but-i-dont-want-to-come-out-to-my-parents At the last count it had drawn 102 responses on MumsNet. Quite a lot seemed to take the same view as my wife. https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/4393772-Batshittery-from-the-Guardi